Pastoral Pearls: Side Effects
“At the end of the day, it’s not about what you have, or even what you’ve accomplished. It’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back.” ~ Denzel Washington
While it might seem a chore to some people to always have to be concerned with “lifting others up,” for me it is a fun challenge! What can I do – today – to make life better for someone I may encounter or I know? This, to me, is a creative challenge, and lines up with my Christian values of spreading God’s love. It is “paying it forward.” What little thing is in my power to do that will make a huge difference (or even a tiny one) in someone else’s life? How can I make someone smile? What can I do to make someone feel valued … important …smart … worthy … loved?
So that’s the fun part. The tougher side of this is trying to always think about the “side effects” of my words or actions – what are my words saying to those around me? This may be when I am talking to the person or just participating in a conversation around them. How might it sound to someone else? How might this sound different for people in different circumstances? Is what I am saying “lifting them up” or will it somehow “pulling them down?” I’m not always stopping to think about all these things before I speak or act.
I know it can be hard, but after all, how do I feel when someone says something around or to me that may not have been meant meanly, but somehow inadvertently just cuts to my heart? Or, conversely, how do I feel when someone says something that truly builds me up? Affirms me? Reminds me that I am good (after all I am created by God.)
Sadly, where I most often fall short in this is with my family, where I am most comfortable. I don’t like that I may too often respond as a reaction to what my husband says, for instance. In that reaction too, often my emotions get the better of me and I fall far short of “lifting him up.” Maybe you can relate? I often wonder how come that closeness and that love can sometimes come off as just the opposite of what I want to be conveying.
So that’s why I need to do the work. – Pause…Think … create the most life-giving response or action I can come up with – to loved ones close to me, and to those who come into my life only briefly or whom are connected to me through other aspects of my life or experiences. I am motivated by knowing how much fun it can be, and I can “play” at it often. Practice makes perfect! (or at least better).
Loving God, thank you for Denzel’s wisdom in reminding me how important it is to lift someone up with my words and actions – to give back all the love I’ve received from you. Holy Spirit, help me to pause and form an uplifting response rather than one that reacts with emotions that can more often belittle or bring down someone’s spirits. Inspire my creativity in finding new and fun ways to lift people up around me as much as I can – making life better for them, in small ways. ~ Amen