“If you know someone who has lost a child, and you're afraid to mention them because you think you might make them sad by reminding them that they died--you're not reminding them. They didn't forget they died.
What you're reminding them of is that you remembered that they lived, and ... that is a great gift.”
― Elizabeth Edwards
Want to know what to say to someone who has lost someone dear to them? The one thing I hear over and over from people who are grieving is how they wish people knew that they actually like it when people talk about the loved one who died. It may make them sad, but often in a good way, that they would welcome. No one wants to forget the person who died. No, if we let ME represent those grieving the loss of a loved one, I would like the memory of that person’s very important life to be kept alive through stories and by bringing the person’s name up in normal conversation. It may be harder for me to learn to live with my loss, if the folks around me never talk about my loved one for fear of making me sadder. Oftentimes that can be more about those around me not being comfortable with me expressing my grief in a normal, healthy way.
Want to help? Share your memories about the one who died. It really can be more like a warm blanket of good memories wrapping around me – a welcomed feeling – even if I cry.
Loving God, help to understand and honor the memories
a grieving person always holds warmly in their heart
of their loved one who has died.
Fill me with the strength to be brave enough
to talk to them about my memories
of this very special person who is gone from their life,
but not from their heart.
May the stories I share with them help to heal their hearts
on their journey through grief.
Please bless them. Amen.