For those who are grieving for someone who is gone from their lives – through death, change of mental capabilities, divorce, or even distance – there can be a strong desire to hang on to and cherish the good memories with that person. It can be difficult to do so when they are no longer here.
Keeping the stories of those good memories alive is vital to the healing process. It sometimes feels really uncomfortable for me to talk with someone who has lost a loved one, because it feels so sad, and I don’t really want to make the grieving person sad. But I’ve learned that when possible, sharing a story I have about their loved one is really a comfort to someone. It may bring tears to their eyes, (which may make me feel uncomfortable), but it helps to keep that loved one alive in their heart. I need to get over my own discomfort, and not be afraid to share a story with the person grieving. For the most part, when a person is grieving (at least at first) there are no words that I could possibly say that would really help that person, so silence and the gift of just being with them is best - except if I could share a story that shows what I valued in their loved one. Smiles and tears.
If you are the person who is grieving the loss, then what this quote says might make sense to you – BE what you loved most about that special person. You can help the best parts of your loved one to live on by continuing to live out the qualities or values that were most precious about them. Carry on with their generosity, or ability to listen, or even the way they made people laugh. What a fun way to honor your loved one! And I can almost see them smiling on you when you do, from their new home in heaven.
Loving God, fill me with your Spirit
so I can know how to best support someone who is grieving.
May your strength allow me to be content
with offering presence or actions in place of words.
May we find ways to carry on
the most meaningful pieces
of the one we mourn,
through living out their
best qualities in our own lives. Amen.